Friday, April 29, 2016

I'm Pugalicious (So Auspicious) #captionthis #humor

Today is my last Funny Friday post, a regular feature published on the last Friday of every month. For those who carry on, Funny Friday is a collaborative project. Each month one of the participants submits a picture, then we all write 5 captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s picture. Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below, click on them and see what they’ve come up with. I hope we bring a smile to your face as you start your weekend.

Today's picture was submitted by Southern Belle Charm.               

27 - Southern Belle Charm - April 2016.jpg

1. #PugHairDontCare

2. What is with all these cat videos!?

3. Please. I invented Resting Bitch Face.

4. Wrinkles don't make me old. They make me distinguished.

5. Somebody's got a frowny face.

Click on the links below and let some other bloggers make you smile:

Spatulas on Parade

Monday, April 25, 2016

Easy Peasy Giant Pizza Rolls #homemade #pizzarolls

Pizza - it's a popular go-to meal for the busy family. I know I have fallen prey to the ease of ordering pizza when our schedule gets crazy - especially during baseball season, which is upon us already. Wow!

But why order out when these little babies are not only easy to make at home, but delicious too?

Easy Peasy Cheesy Pizza Puffs

With just a few ingredients you can have this on your table in as little as 30 minutes - including prep time. How is that for a great deal?

You start with 3 cans of biscuits. Easy enough.

Add a decent cheese - here is the block of mozzarella we used - but a mild cheddar or Colby-Jack would do nicely as well. Anything tasty and melty.

You do not realize how hard it is not to ask someone to cut the cheese, especially in a house of boys... and by boys, I mean my husband. I had to really concentrate in order to say 'slice the cheese'. I really did not want to hear continuous fart jokes for the rest of the night.

Not that it stopped them... damn it.

Prep your filling. This consists of four slices of pepperoni (or two if you prefer) and a slice of cheese about half an inch thick, roughly squared.

They are like little sandwiches! You could stick a toothpick in and be done.

Flatten your biscuits just enough. Place the pepperoni sandwiches in the center of the flattened biscuit.

Now swaddle them. Take each side and fold then toward the center. Make sure all the insides are covered. When you are done with this step, they will kind of look like Oreos. I almost wished they were, but alas - dinner first.

I will admit, mine look a bit more... browned than you would expect, but I have a theory. My oven rack wasn't in the right position and I may have... overestimated the time and temp slightly.

No big deal - they were not burnt, just a little crispy.

Preheat oven to 350° F*. Lightly grease a 13x9 baking dish.

  • 3 cans Pillsbury biscuits (non-flaky variety)
  • 120 slices of pepperoni (60 is you are only using 2 per roll)
  • 30 slices of cheese, ½-inch thick 
  • 1 egg
  • 1 tbsp butter, melted
  • garlic powder, to taste
  • Italian seasoning, to taste
  • shredded parmesan
  1. Slice the cheese.
  2. Prepare your pepperoni sandwiches.
  3. Place 'sandwich' in flattened biscuit. Bring sides up over the package to cover completely.
  4. Seam side down, place each roll wide by side in the greased baking dish.
  5. Melt butter and allow to cool slightly. Beat in egg. Baste tops of rolls with egg/butter wash.
  6. Sprinkle with seasonings and Parmesan cheese.
  7. Bake at 350 degrees for 14-17 minutes*.
  8. Serve hot. A side of marinara sauce is optional.
*These numbers have been adjusted to compensate for my oversight.

Mangiare bene miei cari! (Eat well, my darlings!)

Friday, April 22, 2016

The Fly Has Flown the Coup #mylife #ataglance

The Big Guy is playing Black Ops III on the XBOX One and Bigfoot is making a point of being as annoying as possible, calling TBG out even though B isn’t playing. And he has been at it for a while.
B: Fight me, brah.
TBG: Go to your room!
B: But why!?
TBG: ‘Cause you’re being a jackass!
(TBG gets ornery when he plays first-person shooters)
B: Well, so is everyone else in the match. I don’t hear you sending them to their rooms!

OMG. So done, I can’t even. Seriously, you can’t even get mad at that comeback.

laughing laugh sam winchester supernatural

Recently a friend of ours had a birthday. Not a milestone – just an in between. So they had a party the night before.  We all had our kids (10 total), ordered pizzas, and everyone (else) started drinking. Because of my medications, I’m always the ‘sober sister’, but it’s still fun to go over and laugh with the rest of them.

Anyway. For reference, we are at these friends’ house every New Year’s Eve and they play drinking games. Everyone gets pleasantly drunk, we make dirty jokes, and everyone goes home happy.

This party was a little different and for the life of me, I can’t figure out why.  There were no drinking games, but there were plenty of dirty jokes.  I learned… well, probably more than I wanted to. Let’s just say secrets were coming out. It was awkwardly hilarious.

To top it off, no one was ‘pleasantly drunk’ – they were all bombed. So wasted! I can’t even. So when I wished the birthday boy a happy day the next day, I may have made a comment in reference to a possible hangover.  The best part was another friend, who hadn’t attended, replied with this:

“I sense a bit of sarcasm, Sober-Wan Kenobi.”  Star Wars, FTW!

Justin star wars thumbs up kylo ren approval

Quesadilla: Look! This one is shaped like a heart!”
Me: Awww. I didn’t think they were allowed to use that part of the chicken.
Q’s face = priceless.

reaction disgusted

Q (running to the bathroom): Ow ow ow ow ow!
Me: What happened!?
Q: I cut myself.
Me: With what?
Q: I don’t know!  I was over at D’s house and I cut it on the fence trying to catch a Frisbee.
Me: So you don’t know how you cut it, but you cut it on a fence.
Yeah. Not my kid. *eye roll*

reactions brother cary elwes eye roll facepalm

That one time, when TBG woke up and found me still reading at 4:30 in the morning… and won’t let it go.

It’s not like it’s the first time you have found me like that!

sorry not sorry tv movie funny food

Someone posted their cosplay on the Salt Lake Comic Con fan page.
Me: Catwoman’s going to be there. Well, someone dressed as Catwoman anyway. Though it would be pretty epic if they got Halle Berry… or Michelle Pfeiffer.
TBG: Michelle Pfeiffer. Definitely.
Me: But see, if it was Halle Berry I could rub it in my dad’s face. (And then I recounted the Halle Berry/Extant conversation referred to on two separate Fly’s).
TBG laughs.
Me: I find it interesting that they keep changing Catwoman – first she’s white, then she’s not, then she’s white again.
TBG shrugged.
Me: Maybe they’re just trying to be racially diverse. But then Batman’s always white.
Bigfoot: That’s because he’s a billionaire.
Me: And black people can’t be billionaires?
B: I don’t know. It’s not like we know any!
Me: No one knows any billionaires… except other billionaires!
TBG points at me.
B: I guess I didn’t think that through.

This was my last Fly on the Wall post! After more than two years, it is time to branch out on my own. Don't be sad, though - I'll still be posting every Monday and Friday... maybe the occasional Wednesday if I'm feeling frisky.

See you around the blogosphere!

Now shoo fly. Shoo!

Juicebox Confession                                               
Menopausal Mother                                                                        
Spatulas on Parade                         
Searching for Sanity                                           
Never Ever Give Up Hope                                     
Dinosaur Superhero Mommy                             
Not That Sarah Michelle                       
Southern Belle Charm                                          
My Brain on Kids                          
Go Mama O                                        
The Angrivated Mom                  

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Baked Citrus Doughnuts with Citrus-Thyme Glaze #CIC #doughnuts

This month's ingredients are: Lemon and Thyme!

The creation of these doughnuts was a test of my patience and perseverance in the kitchen (and The Big Guy's willingness to go to the store... twice).

First Round - dough was actual dough, not batter. Way too thick. I baked one off just to make sure it wasn't going to work... it was terrible.

This was the first test, because I used up the rest of my flour on the first batch and sending TBG out for more flour took for-ev-er. He went to pay a bill before hitting the store and the bill place was busy. Then he runs into an old friend who works at the grocery store we frequent, so they talked for a bit. After, he ran into one of our good friends and they talked for a bit.

I was still hanging out in the kitchen, trying to get things ready for the next attempt, waiting... patiently.

Round Two: Figured out part of what went wrong, so I rearranged some ingredients and tried again, Less thick but still too doughy. I baked one off as a test and while it was okay, it wasn't what I was looking for. The taste profile was spot on though, so I knew I was headed in the right direction.

This time I was out of baking soda, vanilla, and butter. Ugh! TBG went back to the store (because he's awesome and it's one of the many reasons I love him). 

I'm sharing Round Three with you. These are amazing. They have a really tangy citrus taste with a pleasantly earthy after taste. Perfect for Spring!

The Goldilocks Tale of Three Doughnuts... ha!

Baked Citrus Doughnuts with Citrus-Thyme Glaze

For doughnuts
  • 2 ⅔ cup all-purpose flour
  • 1 ½ tsp baking powder
  • ¼ tsp baking soda 
  • ½ tsp salt 
  • 1 tsp ground cinnamon
  • 1 tsp  ground ginger
  • ¼ cup butter, melted 
  • ¼ cup canola oil 
  • ¾ cup granulated sugar
  • 2 large eggs
  • 2 tsp vanilla extract
  • 1 cup milk
  • Zest of one lemon and one lime (or less, to taste) 
  • Zest of 1 orange, for garnish
Preheat oven to 425° F. Lightly grease two regular-sized doughnut pans. 
  1. Put dry ingredients in a bowl and whisk together. 
  2. In a separate bowl, whisk together butter, oil, and sugar until light and fluffy.
  3. Add eggs, vanilla, milk, and lemon/lime zest. Whisk until smooth.
  4. Add dry ingredients to wet a little at a time while whisking.
  5. Pipe or spoon batter into doughnut pans and bake for 10 minutes. The doughnuts are ready to remove from the oven when a toothpick inserted into them comes out clean.  
  6. Let cool in pan up to 5 minutes then transfer to cooling rack. 
  7. When completely cool, dip into glaze. Garnish with orange zest while glaze is still wet. 

For Glaze
  • 1 lemon, juiced
  • 1 lime, juiced
  •  cup thyme simple syrup (see recipe below) 
  • 1+ cup powdered sugar
  1. Over fine mesh sieve, juice lemon and lime into a bowl. 
  2. Add simple syrup. 
  3. Whisk in powdered sugar until it forms a smooth, creamy glaze. 
  4. If your glaze is soupy, add more powdered sugar, a little at a time, until consistency is more like cinnamon roll icing.
Thyme Simple Syrup
  • 12 sprigs fresh thyme 
  • 1 cup sugar 
  • ½ cup water
  1. Combine thyme, sugar and water in saucepan. 
  2. Bring to boil and reduce to simmer for 5 minutes. 
  3. Strain out thyme sprigs before using.


Monday, April 18, 2016

Loaded Potato Casserole

I love having The Big Guy here at night. We can finally cook together, which is way more fun (and less work for me)! His work schedule still sucks (for him), but he gets to spend more time with us, which everyone appreciates.

The potatoes take the longest prep time, so an extra set of hands is always nice. He peeled, I sliced. The perfect combination. Kind of like the ingredients in this dish.

I have also been hard at work enhancing my photography skills. I'm still a work in progress, but so much better than I used to be! What do you think?

Gah. I just love these downward shots! Gives the pictures depth and range. Still laughing at the wayward chive on the plate, though.

You can serve this baby as a side dish or a main dish - breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Yeah - it's that good.

Loaded Potato Casserole
*adapted from Sippity Sup

What you need:
  • 5 lb russet potatoes (I prepared a 10 lb bag - we really like potatoes) 
  • 1 lb bacon, roughly chopped (before cooking)
  • 8 oz cream cheese
  • 1 C unsalted butter, melted
  • 1 1/2 C sour cream
  • 0.66 oz chives, roughly chopped (optional - green onions would work well here too)
  • 3 C cheddar cheese, grated
  • salt, to taste
  • pepper, to taste
  • garlic powder, to taste
  • onion powder, to taste
Preheat oven to 350°F.
  1. Peel potatoes, and cut into 1-inch chunks. Place in a large saucepan and add enough cold water to cover by about 2 inches. Bring to a boil over medium-high heat and reduce to a simmer. Cook until tender and easily pierced with a paring knife, about 20 minutes. Transfer to a colander to drain; return to pan, cover, and set aside.
  2. Heat a large skillet over medium heat. Add bacon, and cook until crisp and browned. Transfer to paper towels to drain; let cool.
  3. Using a fork or potato masher, mash the potatoes in their pan until light and fluffy. Add the cream cheese, butter, and sour cream, and stir until combined and smooth. Add half the chives, 2 cups cheddar cheese, half the bacon, and spices. Stir until well combined.
  4. Transfer to a greased 3-quart casserole dish. Top with remaining cup cheddar cheese. Bake until top is slightly golden and potatoes are heated through, about 30 minutes. Remove from oven; garnish with remaining bacon and chives. 
  5. Serve hot and enjoy!
Can you imagine bringing this to a potluck!? Everyone would want the recipe. Seriously.

Ignore my trivet - apparently it got too close to a flame! And my table; it is large and sturdy, but old and boring. My tablecloth was in the wash.

Another remake down. I'm going to keep going until I like all the pictures... and if I think the recipe is worth it, of course!

"I have made a lot of mistakes falling in love, and regretted most of them, but never the potatoes that went with them." -Nora Ephron